mandi's journal [entries|friends|calendar] flirtinlilhoti [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[24 Jul 2005|11:24am] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | we belong together ] yesterday... i went to the tigers game with slack, it was so much fun we seen a few people there soo thats was cool... we had really good seats we were right behind the tigers dugout! and we also got on that big screen thingy tooo lol then we came home and got brandon then we went to eastside marios! seen matt but he was workin so he couldnt talk... then they droped me off so i could pack , but i only packed for like 5 mintues (woops)lol then i was watering the flowers in my front yard and i turned around and there was matt standing there it scared the crap out of me, it was nice to see him i missed him soo much.. so then we sat down and talked about a few things and everything then we hungout in my house , then he had to go home. but i didnt want him too cuz i havnt seen him in a while but he had some things too doo ... so he left... we suppost to be hanging out as soon as i get back , so hopefully we doo! ( i want things to be like they use to be with us. but its not possible right now! soo who knows maybe something change) but i have to goo pack my clothes, i go back to canada today ill be home saturday night you can deffinitally call me tho if you would like! love Mehhh (I Still Love You) hearts

[21 Jun 2005|12:44pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | jewel-you were ment 4 me n i was ment 4 u ] From the moment i saw you...      yesterday was fuckin crazy... i had to stay here with kim and everything i dont know, i feel so bad i dont know what to say to her but i helped her as much as i could...   ...then matt drove by with his brother and jared.. said hi..and told me where he was going im like.. um okay.. why are you tellin me this? hes like ohh ill call you later.. im like yeah ill belive it when i see it...   and guess what.... still no call! o'well nothin i can doo. if i call he prob just wont anwser soo looks like im waitin around for him again... but if thats what i have too doo then im gonna doo it...     idk i think im just gonna go up to canada.. untill someone wants to call me and hangout, then come home for a few days and go back up... but idk i think im gonna go back up with my grandma when they doo! ugghh life is so confussing..  i wasnt writing in this thing befor , and thats when everything was going good and now that everything is shit i guess i kinda have to write... no one seems to listen to what i say really... but todays my sisters birthday.. so im gonna go get some markers and write all over her car, cuz she wants mee too lol... then going to my dads company picnic.. slack was gonna come with us but she cant her mom dont want her driving that far.. o'well ill just call her later.. but ill have my cell call me if you wanna hangout or talk.. pce out... happy 17th birthday jessica!!!!  comment if you'd like                                                    love me                                                                                ...i knew it was ment to be [1] hearts

hmm life sucks!! [17 Jun 2005|07:08pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | none ] well slack and i have been hangin out a whole lot im glad things are back to normal..i love you slackers!!!!! things with me and matt i honestly dont know, i havnt talked to him since tuesday of last week maybe? idk we have like gone our seperate ways, and i dont know why. its like everything is great hes my bestfriend ya know then the next minute i hardly see him.. ya wanna know the hardest part of this all? i realized like 2 weeks ago that i like him! so then like everytime i was going to tell him.. he would just be going home..or someone would call.. and now idk everyone that ever hungout with me and him when we were together there like ohh you were leading him on! and he probably got sick and tired of waiting, and that makes me feel sooo fuckin bad seriously.. cuz i didnt even notice i was doing.. i love him to death he's my bestfriend and i finally relize the i want him as more than a bestfriend .. and now were like not even talkkin ! im afraid ive lost him for good and this sucks major ass!! idk we were suppost to be going to some grad party's latter this week but who even knows anymore. i just reallly wish i could see him i miss him soo much its hard from going from being together everyday and talkin everyday too not even sayin one thing to eachother! it really hurts but i guess i deserve it ! i am always the one that pushes people away i can never keep someone in my life long enough to relize what i would be missing out on by lettin them gooo! im just actually lonely for once ive never felt so empty i lost my bestfriend and a person that means the most to me! and i dont even know why.. but matt if your reading this please call me! this is probably the dumbest thing you or anyone has to read but ya know thats life for yah!! right now im chillin with slack and brandon at slacks house... stayin the night here tonight, have a good summer guys!!! comment if you'd like love me </3 i love you more than you know! [4] hearts

[12 Jun 2005|05:11pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | we belong together ] Friday, scroggs came over my house a lil after school we chilled then got ashely we watched a movie then we went bowling it was fun like the first game and we didnt wanna bowl any more but we did anyways lol.. poor ashley there was this smelly kid there and he stared at her the whole time, then we came back to my house drew on my driveway with chalk! hehe then talked with my mom... she took scroggs and ashley home ... saturday, woke up, talked to slack.. then went accross the street and kim did my hair for me ( im not so sure i like it really) its different and idk i dont really like it but its done now nothin i can do about it ! o'well ... then scroggs and i walked and met e-chother and walked to my house.. hungout then we walked and got slack like 4 hours later and then we hungout here , and stuff then my mom drove scroggs home at like midnight i think, and slack stayed the night so we were watchin HALLOWEEN H20 20 YEARS LATER it was scary as fuck then after it was over we watched next and went to bed... sunday.. slack and i woke up, her dad called so she had to leave like an hour later to go to a grad party for her cuzzin, and we both ended up having these reallly weird dreams last night from watchin that stupid movie.. her's were some people broke into her house... and mine were worse in both my dreams 2 people died it was so scary, god i hate when that happens lol.... then later i layed on in the sun... had to babysit for a few hours they werent to bad today... thats goood i guess! but yeah sooo now im jsut chillin talkin on the phone and what not... comment if youd like... love Me i love you more than we both say we doo!<and thats for real! hearts

[08 Jun 2005|05:07pm] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | i will always love you ] wow its been a long ass time since i updated!! sorry lol yeah nothin really too exciting... me and matt are okay i guess havnt seen much of him though! but love you to death no matter what! school is alright too, im actually passing all of my classes as of today, soo thats good just have to pass my E~science final to pass the class! also i got into cosmetology starts next year im really excited about that , nicole is doing it with me soo thats good theres only 7 of us from franklin tho lol butt o well new people too meet i guess! lol but yeah i guess if i have time tomrrow ill write in this! later i have to go to dinner with my grandma and grandpa ugg i dont want too but i have too blah blah blah well i love you!! ((you know who you are)) comment if you wish... love always mandi [4] hearts

[13 May 2005|07:28pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | pistons game ] the other day... im so excited.. i finally hungout with nicole.. which i havnt done in forever n a half lol... and plus i got to hangout with brad and pat on the same day.. it was awsome i missed you all.. its great... but my dummbass dosnt know how to play poker lol.. so i kinda lost way more chips than everyone soo.. one of you need to teach me okay thanks alot lol.. ohh nicole thanks for the titty twisters i still gotta get you back lol.. well thanks guys for the fun day .. i think maybe we are hanging out again today yes.. ??? but idk so give me a call you two.. like all week.. matt has been in a bad mood.. and instead of tellin me whats wrong he blew up at me.. your right.. im mean too you... but you have no idea how many times you almost made me cry in the last 4 days it really hurt, im so not sure what to do anymore so let me know.. or someone hit me with the common-sense ball(<--lol josh)) i neeed it.. TEll me whats wrong not my friends, i need to know tooo life is really confussing.. im glad i got my friends to be there for me i love you all.. well thats it.. to lazy to write today.. leave some if you want. love mandi [3] hearts

[01 May 2005|05:25pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | some song ] well everyone knows whats going on in my life... at the moment.. but if you dont i guess just ask dont really feel like writing much today... i love ya guys, your awsome well my friend jen wanted me to do this so i am... Name Four Things That You Wish You Had: 1. Lots of Money 2. my pink car 3. a boat 4. idk what else Name Four Scents You Love: 1.Strawberrys 2.Vanilla 3.Oranges 4. vey sexy, (victoria secrets) Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now: 1. going tanning lol 2. this movie im watching 3. im gonna be bored since my plans are gone Name Four Things That You Have Done Today: 1. slept 2. babysat the kids accross the street 3. Filled in this quiz thingy 4. talked on the phone Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought: 1.clothes 2.make-up 3.food 4.tanning shit Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink: 1. Water 2. hmm secret 3. water (all i really drink) 4. twister juice Last Song You Sang? going crazy by natalie Last Person You Hugged? john Last Thing You Laughed At? the girl i bbysit told me i am gonna marry john Last Time You Cried? this afternoon What's In Your CD Player? jessie McCartney What Color Socks Are You Wearing? White What's Under Your Bed? Nothing What Time Did You Wake Up Today? 8:30 real early Current Hair? blonde Current Clothes? black pants, and a tangtop Current Annoyance? my phone, it wont stop ringing Current Longing? i dont know Current Desktop Picture? my dog sweetness (( i miss you babe)) Current Worry? im gonna be bored tonight Current Hate? no one Last CD You Bought? already asked Favorite Place To Be? My room or at my friends Least Favorite Place? school, If You Could Play An Instrument? Drums deff Favorite Color? PINK Current Favorite Word/Saying? idk Favorite Season? Summer . . . cuz i get to see my boo One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To: well it was slack, but we have already started talkin :) Favorite Day? Friday !~ its always fun Where Would You Like To Go? umm tanning/ movies What Is Your Career Going To Be Like? cosmetologist/ and a mommy How Many Kids Do You Want? exactly 2 what time is it NOW? um 6:05 pm comment if youd like... love me [5] hearts

[21 Apr 2005|07:33pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | O.C. ] tuesday... MATTS 18th BIRTHDAY !!! I love you matt school was alright i guess lol.. nothin out of the ordinary after school.. matt came over and we went driving around for abit.. amd he was tryin to mess with me, by going to churches.. and tellin me to get out.. it was so mean.. i hate churches they scare me ;( lol long story.. then he had to go to his dinner thingy.. so he dropped me off and then i went accross the street. and jump roped with the lil girls across the street then me and john like talked the whole night.. and we played hide and seek with the kids.. it was soo funny.. but yeah like we sat out there and talked till like 10:30... it was fun, im glad he's more open now and comfortable with me ... ** GOT a new cell phone too so if you want the number just ask** wedensday.. hungout with matt... and we went and picked up his brother from school... then came back to my house... accidently was a lil to loud and woke my sis up ! woops! then we went for a lil walk hehe! and then went to his house for abit.. but then i had to go home.. cuz i had a shit load of spanish homework too do.. yeah i know me do homework yeah right.. but really i did it.. a dio, and a pamplet thing tooo hehe and then fell asleep on the couch then went to bed lol today... came home talked on the phone to nicole for a while.. did some homework .. and layed around cuz i had a huge headache and talkin on the phone again.. sooo ill write later no one really comments anymore but it dont matter too meeh, soo comment if you'd like love mehh (havnt talked to david in a while... i miss you) [9] hearts

[18 Apr 2005|06:18pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | whitney houston ] umm.... thursday... was a shitty day... got in trouble at school ... then got a refferl.. and got kicked outta class... damn i fuckin hate school i swear i always seem to be gettin in trouble.. then after school.. matt came over went with him to the bank.. then we hungout ya know... the usuall shit... except i was probably being a bitch soo if i was im sorry.... Friday.. like the best day ever... it was nicoles party.. except you all know me and secrets ((I CANT KEEP EM FOR SHIT)) haha hey atleast i can admit it.. lol but i kept her party a secret and i was so proud of my self and here she like knew about it all week cuz her boifriend Ian slipped and told her.. o well i think that was like the first one i kept on the downlow.. so be (VERY PROUD OF ME) :) LOL but it was soo mcuh fun there was like a bunch of people... idk it was a lot of fun.. gabes house was the perfectest place to do it! tooo so i was excited for that one.. we had a fire.. and me and ashley talked to nicoles mom about penis's and shit.. and she got really discusted but it was funny as hell... you know us girls we are soo silly... well from what i know everyone that went had fun.. even nicole.. so i was very happy.. im giving her her present on friday if i stay the night.. if not then ill give it to her saturday when we go shoppin heheh... yeah ** only thing went wrong that night is matt's butt didnt show up.. so i was kinda madd.. but nothin i can do now** saturday... hungout for a bit.. my friend josh called me he came over for awhile, went drivng around with him for a while met some of the guys he works with it was soo cute he was like introducing me to everyone i started laughin.. then i was like umm can we like go somewhere.. so then he took me to get some icecream.. dont really like icecream but hey he was buyin.. so i got a milkshake.. it was good bannana i think hehe... then came home.. and my dad and mom were there.. so my dad took us to applebees.. i dont really like the place.. and i told my dad bout my refferl and shit.. he laughed and said i should probably stop gettin in trouble in school.. i said i try it dont work tho... came home... went to sleep i think.. i was exahusted... sunday... didnt feel good at all so i layed on my couch all day and called my dad to bring me some juice hehe im such a baby lol... had dinner.. it was yucky!!! lol TOday... was alright i guess..... got checked out of 3rd hour like 15 minutes befor it was over.. then went to the doctors office.. some of you know why... hehe (( lets keep it between us lol)) and then my mom took me to lunch becuz my lunch was already ova.. and then went back to school.. it was the end of 4th hour.. so matt works in the office.. i made him check me back in... then i walked him to his locker and to class and talked to him about everything... then i went to my locka and then went to class and watched some gay movie. lol o'well then the rest of the day ya know... after school matt came over we hungout for a lil bit... then he went shopppin with his gma for his bday shit at the mall.. and i went and hungout with tony.. and the kids across the street.. it was soo funny.. i was jump-roping with her and like i couldnt belive it.. i could still do it.. but it hurt my ankle really bad.. then we played in there lil sandbox it was sooo cute.. and then i took her for a walk in the woods... and well now im home .. so thats it for now.. matt might come over later soo well see.... i love my bestfriend... he's SUPER!! 1 day till his bday tooo ((Y*E*A*H)) alright.. well leave me some comments since i actually updated hehe love always MEHH hearts

[09 Apr 2005|10:21pm] [ mood | hot ] [ music | some dumbass movie ]  umm  monday...  school... hung out with matt or scroggs dont member..  tuesday... hung out with scroggs.. and john the kid acrros the street .. and andree for a bit too... wedensday...  went tanning with courtney and jess ... thursday... went tanning with jess and courtney... Friday...  went tanning with jess and courtney... umm then dropped her off at home and got nicole and matt too.. and we went to the baseball game at gardencity.. it was cold.. and matt was being mean but i still love him lol.. then after we dropped him off at home..  me nicole and jess went to dinner with my dad... meetin my mom there.. then my sis and mom went home.. cuz my sister was  a lil upset  so then we stayed.. josh and pat corey and some other people were there too..  then I DROVE nicole home.. lol and yeah nothin really happend after that today...  went tanning with michelle at 6 im a lil burnt but i finally have a cute color lol.. then came home looked at some cars....  then me and my mom and dad went to olgas for dinner .. yuck i hate that place... and suppost to hangout with matt tonite too.. soo i gotta get home and call him  and yall gotta read this is funny.. my cuzzin eric wrote it cuz he is a pimp...  *-*Yep in my white shorts [x12]  I make calls in my white shorts play ball in my white shorts annnnnd I go to the mall in my white shorts they once were my black shorts now there my white shorts  so now im fuckin pimpin in my white shorts, im drivin in my escalade, tryin to get fuckin laid, but it anit workin so i pull out my extra game, so i start hittin dem switches like they there my bitches now im on a gangsta mission, so i turn on my radio, n gets lots of flow, and hoppin to get a lotta blow from my hoe, im listen to mase, boomin up the bass, while im in first place, cuz i make calls in my white shorts play ball in my white shorts annnnnd i go to the mall in my white shorts they once were my black shorts now there my white shorts  so now im fuckin pimpin in my white shorts, i put my hat to the side, and im like come on momz lets ride, we can go to the park, we can go to the store, we can even go to the fuckin dance floor, if ya want some more, juuust ask cuz im the one fuckin u in the ass, now i get outta my car, dropped dat hoe off at the store, cuz  i make calls in my white shorts play ball in my white shorts annnnnd i go to the mall in my white shorts they once were my black shorts now there my white shorts  so now im fuckin pimpin in my white shorts, my white shorts got that jordan sign, and one of a kind, and they make me look fine, i wear white black blue and red tees wit my white shorts, they got 2 pockets so i can can hold lots of cash, and my weed stash, and my foot on the gas, ima white rapper, and ima cracka, and i might just have ta smack ya, i want all my wiggas I want all my people, i want all my hoes, to get them white droors, i wear boxers wit my white short, and i gota big belly and tonite ima get shelly, and goin to the delly, and a we gonna walk in that bitch and ima pull my 9, outta my dick and ima walk up to the cashier and say give me all tha cash and i wont wip your ass, if u call the po po u fuckin hoe ima come and cut off ur tities and and you’ll give me a blow, cuz yous a fuckin hoe, cuz i make calls in my white shorts play ball in my white shorts annnnnd i go to the mall in my white shorts they once were my black shorts now there my white shorts  so now im fuckin pimpin in my white shorts, now this is the end of the song, and bitch u better shake whats in dat thong, and ride on my dick, cuz it anit no tooth pick, or you’ll get your ass kicked cuz ima fuckin pimp bitch... Yep in my white shorts [x5]   hahaha im just playin bitch ima come and bust a cap in yall...gotta give it up to afroman, 50, gunit, luda, lil jon... im out peace bye HOLLA AT CHA CRACKA!!*-*   comment if you want..  love me [2] hearts

[04 Apr 2005|09:56pm] [ mood | exhausted ] [ music | lifetime ] Friday... hung with steph julie and scroggs.. played a dirty joke on julie... made her watch porn lol.. i know she liked it haha.. then we chilled took some pics and played basketball and went to dinner.. it was so damn fun.. too we sat there and talked about sex and shit.. my mom was laughin the whole time.. i dont think she ever stopped. lol then we all started talkin bout when we were concieved.. it was so funny.. n scroggers asked our waitress where she was.. she says she didnt know but she knew where she had her son lol.. on a 4 wheeler while it was on hahah.. it was cute but funny as hell... then later when i got home.. i called matt and he came over and we hungout till like 2 i think.. ya know the usual stuff happend and shit.. lol then that bout it.. saturday... got up about 8:30 got in the shower got ready.. called julie around 10 then went and got her.. and we went to the bowling alley to see steph.. it was funn.. kinda like old times ya know? but i love hangin out with those girls its like everything was the same as it use to be... lol.. then got sick later that day.. and julie was gonna come over but i didnt really feel to good.. sunday... got up late lol.. like 1 i think and got in the shower.. did my hair.. got ready... called my dad.. he came n got me .. and took me shoppin... i got to drive of course.. then came back.. and then my moms aunt and uncle came over.. and we went to mexican fiesta with them for dinner.. uggh.. i hate that place.. i always feel like im gonna throw up after eating there lol.... came home got on the phone... talked to scroggs till about 12:30 TOday.. got up fuckin late i set my alarm for 5:30 pm in stead of am.. so my sister woke me up at like fuckin 6:10 so i had to like jump in the shower.. all i had time to do wasa.. put half my makeup on and throw my hair in a ponytail... yuck !!! lol and i looked totally gross today... lol it was a good day tho all except havin school n shit.. except leo asked me for my number.. but i aint doing that to britt fuck that shit.. i aint gonna mess with my friends boi... but i came home and scroggs came with me and we hugnout ... i helped her draw some pictures for her english class ya know!! lol then we went outside and played with my football and shit.. and talked to john accross the street and pretty much stayed over there like all day and chilled. talked and played with his lil cuzzins.. ended up seeing steve go down the street. it was funny.. lol and then matt came home.. so scroggs called him over and i said hi.. and we talked for a mintue..but he had to do soemthing i guess so he left.. and we stayed over at johns... till like 8:30 then we came in side.. i did some homework.. my sis drove amanda home... and now were watchin some lifetime movie and it is really good.. soo im gonna get back too it.. ** had fun today scroggs same thing next time lol** minus his uncle askin if i was his girl.. and shit haha... and whatever else he said hehe..** sorry long entry.. comment if youd like.... i love you guys!!! love MEHH [2] hearts

[31 Mar 2005|10:39pm] [ mood | dorky ] [ music | watchin Big Daddy ] spring break is alright so far.. i guess monday... went out to dinner at red lobster and the guy that seated us he was hittin on me the whole time.. and then matt called so i got up and was bout to walk out side but then that guy was tryin to talk to me.. so i was like matt ill call you when i get home.. cuz he wanted to hangout ... so we hung up.. then i talked to that guy for like 10 min and he walked me back to the table.. then when we left he was like bye sweetie and blew me a kiss.. he was a junior he goes to wayne memorial... then came home called matt then matt came over bout 10 we talked for a lil bit and stuff and he kept appologizing to me for being a pooh head lol and i did too and then we were gonna go somewhere but idk we ended up just layin on my couch watchin a movie and ya know the usuall stuff we doo umm i think he left about 1:30 a lil later maybe... then i went in my room put my pajamas on turned my tv on and fell asleep around 2:30 after i wached braceface lol.. dont ask it was the only damn thing on haha .... tuesday... um woke up got in the shower called nicole.. she was all ready and packed so my sis and i got in the car and went and picked her up.. came back to my house chilled and talked went and got chalk lol and colored on my drive way haha and shit then later we got dinner .. and we were sittin in my living room.. and White Andree and Mike came over and asked if we wanted to go to andree's house and have a fire with him.. so were like yeah when.. so mike came back like an hour later i think like,((10:30 11 oclock)).. got us and jess and nicole were too good to walk with us.. so me and mike walked with eachother talkin bout like a whole shit load of shit we use to do like years ago.. when we hungout ((** i cant belive how much mike grew up... he is a pretty cute kid lol i never knew we was the same age out of like all the years weve known eachother..**)) i missed him tho.. havnt seen him in like a year or soo..... and we had the fire.. and talked and shit.. and stole wood from dave's house it was soo funny.. there was like nails in it.. supprisinly for us just like sittin there and talkin bout bull shit it was fuckin fun.. i liked it.. came home around maybe 1 or 2 dont quite member... my sis went to bed... me and nicole layed on my couch talkin and shit and watched tv and fell asleep... wedensday... we woke up like 11:30 and then hungout and layed around got in the shower.. got slurrpees and taco bell... dont really memebr what else.. took nicole home around 5 cuz she had a date with ian .. her boyfriend .. but it was all good cuz when she got home she was gonna call me so she can come back over... matt ended up callin me and we talked it was so cute.. hes like im sorry i didnt call you yesterday i ended up going up north.. imlike ahh its fine i wasnt even home.. but it was sweet that he called :) then nicoles mom drove her over.... and matts phone kept cuttin out.. so he went outside. and then i just called him on my house phone.. i think we talked for a lil bit.. and then he went and played cards with his friends he took with him... then me and nicole talked with my mom.. and about her date. and how nicoles mom thinks ian is so cute lol.. i wanna meet this kid.. hehe then we called scroggs and shit.. and talked on the phone with her untill 2:10 lol when she finally let nicole get off the phone haha. it was funny!! fell asleep not to long after that!!!!!!! thursday... woke up got ready and sat around laughin and talkin and making fun of eachother lol then bout 3 we went over courtneys house and chilled till about 5:30 and then we went to dinner with my dad.. then we went to the library cuz my sister needed a book it was funny cuz there was a song on the radio and we couldnt think of the name.. so i sat on my phone for 15 minutes callin and calling DRQ.. untill finally spike anwserd the phone and talked to me and told me what the song was and like he was going on and on about it im like alright thanks bye.. lol then we came home downloaded it.. nicole talked to ian.. and i told him something dirty lol... and then we drove nicole home.. and on the way picked up ashely dropped them off at nicoles... then came home.. and amanda and lauren ended up stopping by to see if i wanted to go over alex's house with them.. and chill cuz they was already there .. i was like noo.. cuz i was watchin my favorite movie.. they were like lol okay.. but its all good chillin with them probably on sunday.. was a lil dissapointed cuz i wanted andree and mike to come get us today.. to hangout and ya know.. so i wouldnt of been bored.. but i think they left earlier in the day.. but its all good.. **lets just say.. this week has been pretty damn full already.. and it aint over yet.. tomrrow after my sis gets off work.. were gonna go get ashley and nicole.. and meet courtney up at cici's pizza like we usally doo lol and then who knows.. but that aint until afta 8 soo ill prob wont do anything durring the day... ((tears)) so if any of ya wanna stop by and keep me company haha lol soo yeah please doo.. anytime after 11 so i make sure im up and showered and look half way decent!!** welll lot of reading.. sorry if it was a lil borring.. but it was fun while it happend lol comment if youd like.. love me!!!! i miss you boo!! [3] hearts

[27 Mar 2005|10:15pm] [ mood | cranky ] [ music | notta ] since the last time i updated.. i dont really memeber everything that happend between now and then but o well... i put all my bitchyness aside.. and appoligized to matt and shit.. and he did too!! lets just face it.. i cant stand to be mad at him you know how hard it is too not be with your bestfriend for like weeks at a time.. it sucks i t really dose.. and frankly i missed him so much.. we was suppost to hangout last night after he got off of work.. but i dont really member why we didnt.. i dont think i was feelin good or i wasnt home.. so i told him.. either tonight or tomrrow night...we can hangout... no matter what happens between me and matt... i dont wanna loose him, i want him to be in my life anyway it works.. cuz it just dosnt seem normal when he isnt apart of it.. so hopefully we can hangout like a few times e very month!!! well today was easter as you all know lol.. i went to my uncles house at about 11:30 and messed with my cuzzins.. and shit .. then we ate.. but i drank pop.. which i shouldnt have done.. cuz when i drink pop i dont feel good.. i needed to drink water and now like im payin for it.. cuz i feel like im gonna barf!!! eekkk..... so like im prob gonna be sick tomrrow now... but yeah i guess today was pretty fun but im playin with my birdy.. so ill write lata!! comment if youd like love me [7] hearts

[23 Mar 2005|09:55pm] [ mood | shocked ] [ music | total eclipse of the heart ((a~i)) ] well lets see yesterday i had a heart to heart with scroggs on the phone... talkin bout my sad life and so we were talkin bout matt and i started crying, yea i said it i was crying.. i know its like wow a cold harded bitch has a feelings... well at least thats what i was told today... wow makes me feel good about my self... but yeah back to the subject so i like cried for an hour.. and .. today.. scroggs talked to matt for me cuz i couldnt do it.. and i found some stuff out that i didnt know ((becuz he didnt tell me)) ((um what the hell your were suppost tooo)) and i guess the thing that hurt me the worst was that i think i started fallin for him.. and to think the guy is my bestfriend and i love him to death already, he is the sweetest guy in the whole world i know ! but i guess its time to put him aside and let him go his own way... and as much as im pissed i still hope when he like thinks about it he will call me or even come over cuz hes my bestfriend and nothin will change that... your right matt i was pissed n i iggnored you.. and i see now that wasnt the thing i should have done cuz now i have to sit aside and wait for you to talk to me again... :( hopefully this will be soon *** talked to nicole and chapman and shedlock on the phone today i guess that was fun lol.. shedlock your fuckin funny as hell n i love you.. lol general.. wow like everyoen iv been talkin to lately have been tellin me how like march was the shittiest month ever if you have like been reading my journal then you would see why mine was so bad.. its been like the most i have ever cried in my life this month blows... and ill be reminded forever about it too.. as bad as it was.. i dont want to ever forget this month... some would understand why .. z((my baby sweetness))z but yeah.. my sister is bitchin for me to talk to her so i guess im out.. matt~ when your ready im still here i dont hate you so call me please. love you scroggs~ thanks forevery thing.. comment if youd like love the one and only mee !! hehe i lave you boo hehe [5] hearts

[20 Mar 2005|10:24pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | watchin tv ] umm lets see... Friday!! nicole came home with me.. and so did scroggs then we chilled with my sister and shit.. then called courtney and then we went and got her and on the way to nicoles house to get her shit to stay the night we stopped by rons house but he wasnt there so we drove down to richards. and we talked over their for a minute... then got her stuff called jeremy to come say hi to me lol but he didnt feel to good so we ended up leaving and going back home then we chilled with courtney all night dropped scroggs off at home then courtney ended up callin and she could stay longer so she did then we went to my dads got money for dinner went to wendys lol ate then went to farmer jacks and got some dounts for the morrning and farmer jacks was so fuckin funny we were like laughing histarickly... if thats how you spell it.. then me n nicole went to sleep at like 3 i think me and klenex haha nicole... saturday... we woke up like idk when then watched movies all day we got in the shower and then got ready fer the day and made pizza for lunch and then waited for ashley to call us then we went to cici's for dinner got salad and lots of cinamin rolls umm.. they are the best only reason we keep going hehe ohh and cuz ashley works there and she is so funny.. and today blah blah blah i dont think iv ever been so misserable in my life.. **have you ever watched a movie where everything that happend was practically your life, well i did .. and i realized that iv made the biggest mistake of my life i love you, and you know it... and no matter what you do nothin will change that, you've always been there for me you mean the world to me its amazing how we know echother so well and cant seem to do anything right.. im sorry if im such a bitch !!! uggg** im done with being the way ive been.. im gonna put everything behind me and just forget about it instead of what i usually doo and just fuckin like block it from everyone and try to forget it except i never do it just sits there till it builds up and i explode , sorry everyone that ive done that too ... started talkin to brian agian i guess thats good i miss that kid... i told him to call me sometime n we would hangout so yeah lol whatever i think im just gonna go lay down comment if youd like.. love YOU [2] hearts

[16 Mar 2005|03:25pm] [ mood | disappointed ] [ music | girls just wanna have fun lol ] wow arnt my friends just great..   i have one that never shuts up.. and has to tell me every god damn thing that happens between her and my bestfriend.. wow like i have control over it.. or anything and like its gonna make me feel better.. and she also has a boyfriend.. and she fuckin sits there and talks about all these guys and it pisses me off cuz shes like ohh i love him.. hes so good to me.. except then like 5 seconds later its like omg he is so hot id fuck him... then if like a guy talks to her shes like sorry  i cant talk to you i have a boyfriend.. its like um kay... lets see. shut the fuck up and get over yourself..      then i have my bestfriend.. hmmm but wait dose a bestfriend sit there and listen to people talk shit about me and not say one damn thing to them... hmmm i dont think soo.. but mine sure seems to do abslutley nothing for me.. hes turrning into a dick, and to think.. something happend between us last week.. and then it all just changes.. i guess i really know some knew stuff about him.. i mean i love him to death.. we talk about everything.. well i guess we did.. talk about everything he just makes me so mad and it upsets me that he changes how he acts infront of his lil friend.. like he thinks he has to act all big and shit.. to impress him.. but whatever makes him feel good!!  uggh why dose my life have to be so shitty... why cant i just actually find a friend that is normal and understands this shit.. you wanna know the saddist part of this whole thing between me and him.. its that he dosnt relize what has happend to me all week, and he hasnt relized that i need a friend not some jerk that smiles at me... i want my old bestfriend back if there was like anyhow this was possible id doo it.. but life dosnt work how it should.. whatever.. if he wants to treat me like shit then let him treat me like shit, its his life     SCREW IT ALL IM FUCKIN DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT!!!! im fuckin gonna just start hanging out with nicole and ashley n scroggers of course..  i love you girls.... i dont think i can take anything else for the rest of my life thats upsetting in anyway.. last week i losse my baby sweetness.. i love you angel.. then this week im prob gonna loose  one friend too..  and one of my very favortie friends.. the one that use to be there for me...  o well.. im hangin out with nicole and ashley on friday were going to dinner and maybe nicole will stay the night.. and then maybe scroggs will come too depends.. really!!     yeah so idk if im updating much anymore.. my life is pathetic enough to me.. i dont think i should boore anyone elses with it tooo  </3 mandi   ** do broken hearts ever heal??? ** a wise person once told me nothing can mend a broken heart!! and im starting to belive them!  ugg life!! [4] hearts

[08 Mar 2005|09:37pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | some comercial ] this weekend was a lil hard for me.. after loosing my dog its been pretty hard... also had my cuzzins bday party on sunday.. that was fun... glad my aunt is feeling better monday.. was suppost to dress up for choir . but goodwin ended up not commin due to funeral.. so we were stuck dressed up i was pissed. cuz margi's dumbass could of walked over my house and told me.. but she didnt so whatever... today... school was alright i guess.. it was normal.. ya know the same old borrin shit . hehe then after school.. matt came over.. since we havnt hungout in like a few weeks. or really even talked... but then he ended up commin over and we chilled for a lil bit.. and things were kinda differnt in a certain way.. and i mean like i went with it.. but im not so sure if its like a good weird thing.. but i think it is... i dont know that hasnt happend befor between us.. so a lil confussed , so who knows.. well see what happens from here lol.. then i went to a booster meeting. with nicole and ashley, then julie ended up comming.. and then we stayed there talked bout old times and shit.. lol then dropped them off at home.. and came home watched the rest of american idol.. and then talked to scroggs on the phone.. and people online... and thats bout it. for now.. so ttyl comment if you wish.. thanks for everyone who helped me through this weekend.. love always mandi [2] hearts

sadiest day of my life [04 Mar 2005|02:58pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | beautiful soul ] today not only did i loose my dog but i lost my bestfriend the one i kissed and hugged when i was sad i miss her so much i cant belive she is gone... i just keep thinkin to my self she is outside and we just havnt let her in yet but then i think to myself im wrong she is here shes in my heart and thats where she will stay forever    this is the worst feeling ive ever had!!  4 years ago this month we went to hawii and when we came back my dog had a stroke they said we would only have a few weeks.. but we were lucky she fought so hard and we got 4 more years with her and were they the best ever but i keep thinkin im just gonna see her run in my house and want someone to pay attention to her.. but thats not possible she is in a better place now... and sweetness i adore you youve been so strong for all these years for us.. had you for 17 1/2 years best years of our lifes   ~~your missed by all of us we love you~~  keep watchin over us and protecting us...  your in our hearts baby   sweetness I LOVE YOU more than anyone i will ever love in my life i cried my self to sleep last night on the couch waitin for you... your still here i know you are    SWEETNESS 3/4/2005 your loved and missed baby.. !! I love you punky!! sweetness i love you [11] hearts

[03 Mar 2005|02:36pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | summer lovin ] yesterday...  1st half day it was alright nothin really intresting happend came home about 11 and fell right asleep lol  then talked on the phone and the computer!!  today... school was actually pretty funnny /  after 5th hour we walked with tim. he is so funny i love that kid we were talkin about like in the summer how theres thos lil bugs that like are attracted to the light and they like are like a million of em lol and i was like tryin to think of the name but i couldnt at all lol then i got into sixth hour i was like ohh there nats lol haha im soo stupid sometimes .. but i didnt talk to him after 6th hour to tell him so if i see him tomrrow il have to tell him . .. then i  came home waited for my mom to get in da shower and get ready then we went to buddys for lunch lol it was good i guess and yeah then came home folded some clothes.. day #2 of half day and i havnt done shit with anyone but i guess whatever!!!  so yeah thats bout it so far...    In general.. ~havnt talked to david in a while .. i miss you ~ben n i still arnt talking but whatever nothin i can doo.. ~matt and i are like not talkin at all and i mean were fuckin bestfriends and i dont ever see him anymore and i miss him alot but yeah i cant just come out and be like why aint we talk anymore , cuz there might be a reason and i might not wanna know the reason. like if there is something i did but if i did anything sweetie im sorry.. and i miss you.. come see me soon!! :/ ~me n my sister arnt really on such good terms its like we fuckin have something stupid to fight about..   ~my moms birthday is 10 days away.. and we stil lhavnt got her anything lol  better get a move on it!!  comment if youd like.. love always amanda    :/ [2] hearts

[28 Feb 2005|08:10pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | notta ] sunday... woke up kinda late.. i was suppost be at my cuzzins game at 10.. but i woke up late.. and my sister got home late.. so she woke up like just befor i did.. and it was already 8:50 and we both still had to shower and get ready and shit.. and of course she fuckin took for ever then when i got out. she sitll hadnt even moved from the living room to her room..it was funny but we got there just like 15 or 20 minutes late.. we went into the right rink.. except usually we sit. in the wrong one for like 10 minutes lol.. they ended up loosing by 2... but there was a great fight it was pimp... so after his game we went to little ceasers to get pizza for everyone but everone was to chicken shit to go inside. but it like just opened i think. so like after a while we just went through the drive threw hehe.. it was funny .. so then we went back to my aunts house and hungout ate pizza.. then my uncle mike came over there for a bit wit the kids.. and then they left we chilled. then my eric and jessica we went to the mall for a lil bit and then we stopped by my other aunts house just to for the hell of it.. lol but yeah then we dropped him back off at home. said bye and left... came home had to go to dinner with my moms aunt.. uggh!!! and my cuzzin eric is a fuckin pimp he is awsome as hell and so funny!!! then today.. came home.. layed one the couch fell asleep.. woke up about 5.. ate dinner it was yucky... and yeah iv been told im a bitch today.. by my sister so i guess i am. .. but what the fuck ever.. and yeah get this.. on friday some dick drove to fuckin fast down the street and goot fuckin mudd on the back of my pants my pink pants they are my favortie... and well that night my mom put laundry soap onthem.. in stead of spot shit and well didnt put them in the washer like right away.. so it sat on em.. and yeah yesterday she put them in the washer. and i looked at them today and they are fuckin ruined im so fuckin pissed. seriously like everywhere the mudd was its like bleach stains now.. it looks so bad.. and now im like even more pissed so sorry if i snap at you today.. but yeah i gotta go watch 7th heaven and then summerland hehe im excited weee.. well yeah ill update tomrrow if i get a chance.. soo comment if youd like... love amanda [2] hearts

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